I am finding this blog a really helpful way of getting used to the idea of living along side my Ulcerative Colitis. I guess as much as I hate it, it is now part of my package.
I have done quiet a bit of thinking over the past few days and have really noticed how I have been neglecting friends. Anyone who suffers from Crohn's Disease or Ulcerative Colitis will know how difficult it is to be upfront and honest with friends about our illness. We tend to sugar-coat things and leave out all of the horrible side effects. When you think about it we have a pretty serious illness, which isn't going to go away anytime soon.
I have made numerous attempts to explain to friends why I decline invites or no longer show enthusiasm when they plan trips away and so forth. The truth is I envy them, the way they can just pack their bags feeling care free and do whatever they like.
So I decided it was time to try and explain a little more about why I have been so elusive. Trouble is I can no longer type my text messages as I am crying my eyes out. Anyone who is following my blog will see how last night I was on cloud 9 feeling really brave and positive. Well just look at me now HA back to earth with a hefty bump!
Trying to explain is hard. How much do I tell them? How much of it will they really understand? At the minute I am under the impression they just think I'm being a really sh*tty friend. I'm not a crap friend, I try really hard to keep in touch via phone/post. The truth is that Ulcerative Colitis does get in the way, it does stop us from doing the things we would have never thought twice about. Friends can be really understanding and supportive, I guess I should give them more credit.
What do I have to lose? I shall continue sending some more or better explanations to friends and I will of course let you all know how I get on. I'm not going to lie, opening up is really hard.
Wish me luck :)
So I told my friends. I told them I was sorry for being so elusive and that I really don't enjoy turning down invites, that the truth was that sometimes I am simply just too poorly. I attempted to let them in on how serious my illness can actually be. How I am at a stage where I am just so emotionally drained. What response did I get I'm sure you're all wondering...well...
IT WAS AMAZING! Many of them sent back huge messages of support, telling me I was thinking far too much into things and how they loved me unconditionally. They reassured me that I am not a pathetic friend and how much they value my friendship. I guess the outcome was that even though to us suffering with Ulcerative Colitis/Crohn's Disease the illness consumes us at times, it turns out that friends see all the good and positive things within us that we sometimes forget or find hard to see.
If you are reading this and thinking maybe you should be a little more honest with friends, wanting to let them in a little bit more, my advice would be to do it. DO IT!! Be upfront and honest because like me you may just be surprised on the reaction you receive.
This time I am wishing you luck :)